


The Four Archangels Take the Sorting Quiz

by inukagome15



Series: The Last Archangel [15]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Study, Crossover, Family, Gabriel (Supernatural) is Tony Stark, Gen, Hogwarts House Sorting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-07 04:06:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18229679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inukagome15/pseuds/inukagome15
Summary: They've never actually sat under the Sorting Hat (except for Michael, but he was human so that doesn't count), but the Pottermore Sorting quiz is the next best thing. Or, featuring each of the archangels taking the Sorting Quiz as published by Pottermore.





	1. Michael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [the-grey-hunt](http://the-grey-hunt.tumblr.com) came into my tumblr messages saying she’d taken the Pottermore sorting quiz as she thought Michael would and ended up putting him in Slytherin with Hufflepuff as the last option. So I decided to take it myself and ended up thinking about Michael’s thought process for each of the questions.
> 
> I’ve done the same for Gabriel/Tony and Samael as well and will also proceed to do the same for Raphael. So each of those chapters will go up separately as we start with Michael.
> 
> Also the mention about Dummy wanting to be in Ravenclaw but always ending up in Hufflepuff is 100% the-grey-hunt‘s idea.
> 
> Tags may be updated further as I'm not sure about the content of the future chapters.

“I was already Sorted. Why are you asking me to take a quiz that will Sort me  _again_?”

“You were human, then,” Gabriel pointed out, smirking. “Maybe it’ll Sort you differently now.”

“This isn’t the Sorting Hat,” Michael said, looking down at the pad in skepticism.

“As good as according to the author who penned the books of this universe.”

“Hm.” Michael tilted the pad in Gabriel’s direction. “Have you taken it?”

“Oh yeah.” Gabriel grinned. “Hat stall between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Samael’s taken it, too, and Raphael as well. So it’s just you we’re missing.”

It was clear Gabriel wouldn’t let this drop, would probably stalk Michael with the pad in hand if Michael refused to do it. And if Michael did it now it wouldn’t be that bad, would it?

Resigning himself to his fate, Michael pressed the START button and read the first question.

_Which of the following would you most hate people to call you?_

  1. _Ordinary_
  2. _Ignorant_
  3. _Selfish_
  4. _Cowardly_



Gabriel wasn’t looking over his shoulder, but Michael had no doubt that he was  _somewhat_ aware of what answers he would select. He glanced at Gabriel and then deliberately veiled the tablet from Gabriel’s senses.

His brother made a face but didn’t otherwise argue, settling back to give Michael more space.

It didn’t really matter if people called him ignorant or ordinary. He  _had_ been ignorant at one point. As for ordinary…he wasn’t exactly ordinary, but it didn’t matter if people thought he was.

Selfish? If someone called him selfish - if someone said that he’d been  _selfish_ with what he had done… When he hadn’t ever really, truly  _wanted_ to fight his siblings and had only ever done so because his Father ordered it–

He hadn’t been selfish.

Cowardly?

No, that slightly annoyed but not like…

So “selfish” it was.

The second question read:

_After you have died, what would you most like people to do when they hear your name?_

  1. _Miss you but smile._
  2. _Ask for more stories about your adventures_
  3. _Think with admiration of your achievements_
  4. _I don’t care what people think of me after I’m dead; it’s what they think while I’m alive that counts_



Clearly not 2 or 3. Michael hadn’t had any adventures worth speaking of and his achievements weren’t anything to admire.

4? Perhaps at one point but… Michael knew his other siblings had thought of him as dead for a long time and had cursed his name for what he had done. He cared about that; it mattered.

But 1? That wasn’t… Well…of the options it was the most palatable. If he only garnered fond thoughts after his (unlikely) death, then that was a good thing to hope for.

After selecting 1, Michael read the third question.

_Given the choice, would you rather invent a potion that would guarantee you_

  1. _Glory_
  2. _Wisdom_
  3. _Power_
  4. _Love_



1 and 3 were instant no’s. Michael had never wanted glory or power. And Michael had been Created to fight, but he had also been Created to  _love_. So, really…

But if he had been wise from the start? If he had  _known_ what to do? Then so many mistakes might have been averted.

The fourth question was

_How would you like to be known to history?_

  1. _The Wise_
  2. _The Good_
  3. _The Bold_
  4. _The Great_



Ideally he wouldn’t be known at  _all_. What good was an angel who smeared their accomplishments over everything? Some things hadn’t been helped given the Bible, but everything else?

Michael wasn’t bold; he wouldn’t want to be known as bold either. Nor great; that way led to madness. He wasn’t wise; he wouldn’t be known as wise either. But good? Perhaps…if he redeemed himself enough… people might think of him as  _good_ instead of cursing his name.

The next question read:

_You enter an enchanted garden. What would you be most curious to examine first?_

  1. _The silver leafed tree bearing golden apples_
  2. _The fat red toadstools that appear to be talking to each other_
  3. _The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling  
_
  4. _The statue of an old wizard with a strangely twinkling eye_



Well, that was a singularly useless question. If he entered a garden blind with no idea what was there, the first thing Michael would notice would be the tree. Every living thing was able to talk in some sense, so the toadstools weren’t that odd. The pool was curious but wouldn’t draw his attention first as it was set in the ground. As for the statue?

He’d perhaps wonder why Dumbledore had decided to put himself there.

The tree would be first, and everything else would follow after.

_What kind of instrument most pleases your ear?_

  1. _Violin_
  2. _Drums_
  3. _Piano_
  4. _Trumpet_



Michael stared down at it for a long moment, then looked up at Gabriel, who had an unusually patient expression on his face. “Instrument?” he asked flatly. “Is there no option for ‘none of the above’?”

“Nope,” Gabriel said cheerfully. “Pick your poison, brother.”

Human instruments sounded  _terrible_. There were no good options here. The only one Michael found remotely pleasing was the trumpet and that was because Gabriel had one, but as for  _when_ the trumpet would sound…

No, Michael didn’t think the trumpet would ever sound pleasing to his ear because of what it meant. For lack of any other option, he just picked violin.

_Four boxes are placed before you. Which would you try to open?_

  1. _The small tortoiseshell box, embellished with gold, inside which some small creature seems to be squeaking._
  2. _The gleaming jet black box with a silver lock and key, marked with a mysterious rune that you know to be the mark of Merlin._
  3. _The ornate golden casket, standing on clawed feet, whose inscription warns that both secret knowledge and unbearable temptation lie within._
  4. _The small pewter box, unassuming and plain, with a scratched message upon it that reads “I open only for the worthy.”_



Michael resisted the urge to snort as he read the last option. Worthy? Well, that one was right out. The third one sounded vaguely tempting but he didn’t think he’d do all that well with it.

He had no interest in anything of Merlin’s, and even if he could resurrect whatever poor creature was in the first box, it would still be in pain. So 1 it was.

_Four goblets are placed before you. Which would you choose to drink?_

  1. _The foaming, frothing, silvery liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds_
  2. _The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums._
  3. _The golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, and which makes sunspots dance all around the room._
  4. _The mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions._



He had no interest in diamonds or sweet things. Let alone strange visions. That had never been in his purview. But 3? His nature had always been heat and fire.

_Once every century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers that adapt their scent to attract the unwary. If it lured you, it would smell of_

  1. _A crackling log fire_
  2. _Parchment_
  3. _Home_
  4. _The sea_



Heaven had no scent, but that hadn’t been Michael’s only home, had it? And even so… Michael selected 3 mutely.

The next question was just bizarre and had Michael staring at it for a minute, wondering just  _what_?

_A troll has gone berserk in the Headmaster’s study at Hogwarts. It is about to smash, crush and tear several irreplaceable items and treasures, including a cure for dragon pox, which the Headmaster has nearly perfected; student records going back 1000 years and a mysterious handwritten book full of strange runes, believed to have belonged to Merlin. In which order would you rescue these objects from the troll’s club, if you could?_

  1. _1\. Dragon Pox Cure 2. Merlin’s Book 3. Student’s Records_
  2. _1\. Cure 2. Records 3. Book_
  3. _1\. Book 2. Cure 3. Records_
  4. _1\. Book 2. Records 3. Cure_
  5. _1\. Records 2. Cure 3. Book_
  6. _1\. Records 2. Book 3. Cure_



He could theoretically recreate  _all_ of these if they were lost. Was there nothing more important to rescue instead?

“Think like a human,” Gabriel advised idly, who was now balancing his chair precipitously on the back legs and staring up at the ceiling.

With a small sigh, Michael selected the first option. If he had none of his abilities, he would certainly value health over knowledge first. As for the records…records weren’t that much use, were they?

_Which would you rather be?_

  1. _Trusted_
  2. _Liked_
  3. _Imitated_
  4. _Praised_
  5. _Envied_
  6. _Feared_



This one… This one didn’t require much thought. Michael didn’t have to be praised. He didn’t have to be  _liked_  (although wouldn’t that be nice?). But trusted? He’d lost the right to be trusted years ago.

Even so…

_Which of the following do you find the most difficult to deal with?_

  1. _Hunger_
  2. _Cold_
  3. _Loneliness_
  4. _Boredom_
  5. _Being ignored_



The cold… Michael hated the cold, but he could deal with it. He was heat, even if at the end it had been–

But loneliness? Michael had never been lonely before until finding himself in this world. Even in the Cage, shut off from the connection all angels shared and only feeling Lucifer’s  _presence_ and not his thoughts… Michael hadn’t actually been  _alone_.

His friends had helped but they were nothing compared to the company of another angel.

It was a close tie between the cold and loneliness, but Michael selected 3.

_What are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts?_

  1. _Every area of magic that I can_
  2. _Apparition & Disapparition_
  3. _Transfiguration_
  4. _Flying on a broomstick_
  5. _Hexes & jinxes_
  6. _All about magical creatures and how to befriend them_
  7. _Secrets about the castle_



As Wayne Hopkins he’d been so eager to learn about absolutely  _everything_ he could. That hadn’t changed even now as Michael found himself looking for differences between what he had known in his old world and the rules of this world.

_If you could have any power, what would you choose?_

  1. _The power to read minds_
  2. _The power of invisibility_
  3. _The power of superhuman strength_
  4. _The power to speak to animals_
  5. _The power to change the past_
  6. _The power to change your appearance at will_



If he could have any power  _of the ones that he already had_?

Only…no. He could travel back in time, but he couldn’t  _change_ the past. And if he could change the past? Knowing what he knew now?

Michael kept his face blank as he selected his answer and moved on.

_Which of the following would you most like to study?_

  1. _Centaurs_
  2. _Goblins_
  3. _Merpeople_
  4. _Ghosts_
  5. _Vampires_
  6. _Werewolves_
  7. _Trolls_



Absolutely none of the above but if he  _had_ to select one he’d just go with ghosts because they were different here.

_One of your house mates has cheated in a Hogwarts exam by using a Self-Spelling Quill. Now he has come top of the class in Charms, beating you into second place. Professor Flitwick is suspicious of what happened. He draws you to one side after his lesson and asks you whether or not your classmate used a forbidden quill. What do you do?_

  1. _Lie and say you don’t know (but hope that somebody else tells Professor Flitwick the truth)._
  2. _Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate (and resolve to tell your classmate that if he doesn’t tell the truth, you will)._
  3. _Tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If your classmate is prepared to win by cheating, he deserves to be found out. Also, as you are both in the same house, any points he loses will be regained by you, for coming first in his place._
  4. _You would not wait to be asked to tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If you knew that somebody was using a forbidden quill, you would tell the teacher before the exam started._



That was another easy question considering free will and students having to learn. He’d give the classmate the opportunity to confess. But why was there no option to confront the classmate yourself?

Michael selected 2 irritably.

_You and two friends need to cross a bridge guarded by a river troll who insists on fighting one of you before he will let all of you pass. Do you:_

  1. _Attempt to confuse the troll into letting all three of you pass without fighting?_
  2. _Suggest drawing lots to decide which of you will fight?_
  3. _Suggest that all three of you should fight (without telling the troll)?_
  4. _Volunteer to fight?_



Why would Michael suggest drawing lots if his companions were humans? 3 made sense if they were all humans, but even so trolls were tricky for humans to take care of as a group. 4 was just suicidal as a human and even as an archangel one didn’t have to immediately jump to fighting as the first option.

There were other options, so 1 it was. Even if he didn’t have Gabriel’s flair with words.

_Which road tempts you the most?_

  1. _The wide, sunny grassy lane_
  2. _The narrow, dark, lantern-lit alley_
  3. _The twisting, leaf-strewn path through woods_
  4. _The cobbled street lined with ancient buildings_



He’d walked shrouded in shadow long enough with the decisions he’d made. Why would he do so again?

Michael selected 1 and moved on.

_Which nightmare would frighten you the most?_

  1. _Standing on top of something very high and realizing suddenly that there are no hand- or footholds, nor any barrier to stop you falling_
  2. _An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked_
  3. _Waking up to find that neither your friends nor your family have any idea who you are._
  4. _Being forced to speak in such a silly voice that hardly anyone can understand you, and everyone laughs at you_



The first three were objectively rather frightening. (The fourth was laughable and Michael discarded it immediately.) But out all of them…

_“How far did you fall?”_

Michael swallowed, picked 1, and moved on quickly.

_Late at night, walking alone down the street, you hear a peculiar cry that you believe to have a magical source. Do you:_

  1. _Proceed with caution, keeping one hand on your concealed wand and an eye out for any disturbance?_
  2. _Draw your wand and try to discover the source of the noise?_
  3. _Draw your wand and stand your ground?_
  4. _Withdraw into the shadows to await developments, while mentally reviewing the most appropriate defensive and offensive spells, should trouble occur?_



If he were  _human_ … Even now, Michael would investigate such noises carefully, as there wasn’t a need for angelic abilities every time. So if one considered a “concealed wand” to be his more specific abilities…

There was no need to remain back and do nothing. That way led to something going wrong.

Definitely 1.

_A Muggle confronts you and says that they are sure you are a witch or wizard. Do you:_

  1. _Ask what makes them think so_
  2. _Agree, and ask whether they’d like a free sample of a jinx_
  3. _Agree, and walk away, leaving them to wonder whether you are bluffing_
  4. _Tell them that you are worried about their mental health, and offer to call a doctor_



This was…actually an amusing question. And certainly one plausible enough.

If a Muggle came up to him right now?

_“You’re a wizard!”_

_“Am I? What makes you think so?”_

1 it was.

The last several questions seemed to serve no purpose so Michael just picked  _dawn_ (because everything started anew),  _stars_ (because they held life),  _forest_ (he just picked this one randomly),  _white_ (as it was closest to his own Grace),  _heads_ (again randomly), and  _right_ (once more randomly).

Once he finished, the quiz results beamed up at him with a proud HUFFLEPUFF (at 77%?). Ravenclaw was underneath that at 64%, followed by Gryffindor at 50%, and then Slytherin at 15%.

“Huh.” Gabriel was now looking over Michael’s shoulder. “I suppose that shouldn’t be much of a surprise with all the books you scribble in, but your Slytherin friends were insistent that you would’ve done well in Slytherin.” He tapped pointedly at the 15%.

Michael refused to comment. “Happy now?”

“Very,” Gabriel said cheerfully. “Now I’m going to let the bots do what they want with this info. I think Dummy’s still a little put out it keeps putting him in Hufflepuff; he wanted Ravenclaw.”

Michael considered what he knew of Gabriel’s eldest and drew a blank at seeing Dummy in  _Ravenclaw_. “No,” he said flatly.

“Yeah,” Gabriel sighed, taking the pad back from Michael. “I love him, but he’s not, eh, the brightest tool in the box sometimes. Now  _You_ on the other hand…”

There was no way Michael was involving himself in that discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously this isn't about the canon versions of the angels but rather the angels as they are in this 'verse.
> 
> the-grey-hunt also posted a [response](http://thelastarchangelaskblog.tumblr.com/post/183685501520/michael-takes-the-pottermore-sorting-quiz) to my post on tumblr with her reasoning for why Michael ended up in Slytherin. 
> 
> Also 100% the reason for why this is going here instead of in the last chapter is because it's a side "what if" story and not anything that will actually happen in First Born.


	2. Gabriel/Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you remember Third Year when Michael made his guesses as to which Houses his siblings would be sorted into? He guessed either Hufflepuff or Gryffindor for Gabriel. Sooo...how accurate was he?

“Look, you’re going to take this,” Dummy demanded, shoving a StarkPad into Tony’s face before he could blink.

“Okay.” Tony took the StarkPad, unsure of what exactly he was supposed to be doing with this.

Dummy sighed, clearly impatient. “The _quiz_ , Dad.”

On closer inspection there did appear to be a quiz open, one which Tony didn’t instantly recognize. “This is…an…unofficial version of the Pottermore Sorting quiz? Have you gone from writing college papers to Sorting people into Houses?”

“No, I’m still writing the papers,” Dummy said, probably to Pepper’s eternal despair somewhere else in the tower. “This is something else. And it’s not _unofficial_. It just breaks the responses down more than what Pottermore does. And you can take it more than once without an account.”

“Aannd…you want to know which House I’ll be in because?” Tony could admit to some curiosity himself after having read the books but he wanted to hear Dummy’s reasoning.

“I want to check the accuracy,” Dummy admitted, shrugging. He did look slightly shifty, so Tony thought that wasn’t the entire reason behind this desire of his. “Butterfingers and You have taken it already.”

“What did they get? And you?”

“I’ll tell you after you take it,” Dummy said, staring Tony in the eye, “so _take it_.”

“All right, all right.” Tony hid a smile, lifting the StarkPad up to take in the first question.

_Which of the following would you most hate people to call you?_

  1. _Ordinary_
  2. _Ignorant_
  3. _Selfish_
  4. _Cowardly_



Dummy had that glazed look in his eyes that suggested he was spying on Tony’s choices. Short of deliberately cutting the StarkPad off from the network, there wasn’t much Tony could do about it.

Besides, he wasn’t expecting this to be that difficult.

So out of these four…

Tony was anything but ordinary, but he didn’t mind being called that. Sometimes being ordinary was great – it let you slip under the radar and sneak into places you weren’t supposed to be. He had _excelled_ at being ordinary once upon a time.

Now… It was a little more difficult to be ordinary if his face was so recognizable.

Ignorant… That would annoy him because he wasn’t _ignorant_ , but the quiz wasn’t asking for annoyance.

Selfish? There was nothing wrong with being selfish sometimes, even if it felt like a betrayal for everything he had been taught. Angels weren’t _supposed_ to be selfish, except when they were. And Gabriel… He had certainly been selfish when he left Heaven all those years ago.

But it had been the decision he’d made, and it had been the right one for him because Gabriel couldn’t have handled what happened in Heaven. It had been utterly selfish, but it had gotten him _out_.

No, he didn’t mind being called selfish.

But it was the last one that had him pause, remembering a dark night in a hotel.

He hadn’t wanted to fight – hadn’t wanted to go up against Lucifer. He’d been cowardly then, but he wasn’t _supposed_ to be a coward. He had a relatively healthy sense of self-preservation (so he liked to claim).

He’d called himself a coward for fleeing Heaven, for putting himself first and not wanting to expose himself to the mess between Michael and Raphael and the rest of the Host. For not wanting to deal with his siblings orchestrating an _apocalypse_ that would have thrown them all into a war again.

But that hadn’t been a coward’s actions, Gadreel said. It had been Gabriel putting himself first because what could he have done?

A hell of a lot more, Gabriel knew, but that was the past. He couldn’t change that.

But someone calling him a coward now? After everything he’d done?

Oh, Gabriel would strongly protest.

He selected 3.

Question two was:

_After you have died, what would you most like people to do when they hear your name?_

  1. _Miss you but smile._
  2. _Ask for more stories about your adventures_
  3. _Think with admiration of your achievements_
  4. _I don’t care what people think of me after I’m dead; it’s what they think while I’m alive that counts_



Considering Gabriel had already died once, this wasn’t something he had much of an issue deciding. He’d had a hell of a lot of adventures in his time, and that was always something he’d be glad to have people sharing.

His achievements? Just about the only thing he’d done that was worthy of being admired (and maybe pitied) was going up against Lucifer and then the Leviathan. So…not really. The Iron Man gig was nice but it was a fun side adventure, not an achievement in of itself.

Gabriel picked 2 and moved on to the third question.

_Given the choice, would you rather invent a potion that would guarantee you_

  1. _Glory_
  2. _Wisdom_
  3. _Power_
  4. _Love_



What the hell would Gabriel do with glory or power? He’d never been one for the glory side of things, and he had enough power as it was.

He was already blessed with love considering what he’d managed to build in this world, so asking for more just seemed greedy.

But wisdom? Oh, if Gabriel had been wiser from the beginning? How much could have changed?     

_How would you like to be known to history?_

  1. _The Wise_
  2. _The Good_
  3. _The Bold_
  4. _The Great_



Oh, boldness for sure.

…As if.

What had Gabriel done that was _bold_? Besides get himself killed twice? (Three times?) He wasn’t bold.

Nor was he great or wise.

But if he could be seen as _good_? Yes.

“I thought you would have picked bold,” Dummy blurted out once Gabriel selected his answer.

Gabriel smiled wryly. “So did I, bud, but do you see me as bold?”

“Yes,” Dummy answered instantly.

Gabriel blinked. “Huh. Well…guess that’s something. But I’ll settle for ‘good.’”

Dummy frowned, peered at Gabriel intently, and then settled back in to wait for the next question’s answer.

_You enter an enchanted garden. What would you be most curious to examine first?_

  1. _The silver leafed tree bearing golden apples_
  2. _The fat red toadstools that appear to be talking to each other_
  3. _The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling_
  4. _The statue of an old wizard with a strangely twinkling eye_



Gabriel sat back for a moment to picture himself entering a garden like that. If he had no idea what he was getting into, what would be the first thing…

Ah, the whispering toadstools. Everything else would be interesting, but it would be the toadstools who would have information about the place.      

_What kind of instrument most pleases your ear?_

  1. _Violin_
  2. _Drums_
  3. _Piano_
  4. _Trumpet_



Oh, that was a no brainer. Gabriel didn’t often have a chance to blow it because of what it meant but he did like his trumpet. Human ones sadly didn’t compare…

“But you play the piano!” Dummy protested once Gabriel had made his selection.

Gabriel did, but that was more out of human sentiment than an actual preference for the instrument. “Doesn’t mean it’s my favorite thing to listen to, and rock music isn’t on this list.”

_Four boxes are placed before you. Which would you try to open?_

  1. _The small tortoiseshell box, embellished with gold, inside which some small creature seems to be squeaking._
  2. _The gleaming jet black box with a silver lock and key, marked with a mysterious rune that you know to be the mark of Merlin._
  3. _The ornate golden casket, standing on clawed feet, whose inscription warns that both secret knowledge and unbearable temptation lie within._
  4. _The small pewter box, unassuming and plain, with a scratched message upon it that reads “I open only for the worthy.”_



Definitely not 4. There was no universe in which Gabriel was worthy, no matter what Thor’s hammer seemed to think.

And then he just picked 1 because why the hell would he leave a little creature to suffer? Sure, 2 and 3 looked interesting but not at the cost of a little creature’s suffering.

_Four goblets are placed before you. Which would you choose to drink?_

  1. _The foaming, frothing, silvery liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds_
  2. _The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums._
  3. _The golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, and which makes sunspots dance all around the room._
  4. _The mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions._



Another no-brainer. Like hell was Gabriel passing up on a potion that tasted sweet.

_Once every century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers that adapt their scent to attract the unwary. If it lured you, it would smell of_

  1. _A crackling log fire_
  2. _Parchment_
  3. _Home_
  4. _The sea_



Gabriel didn’t have to think about this one either, silently selecting 3. Heaven had no scent that human noses could perceive, but that didn’t mean it didn’t have _anything_ that came to mind.

Starlight and sunshine. Light itself.

No scents that other angels would name but which Gabriel would admit to if pressed to describe what Heaven felt like. (So it wasn’t exactly a scent, but it had been _home_.)

The next question was a frustrating one.

_A troll has gone berserk in the Headmaster's study at Hogwarts. It is about to smash, crush and tear several irreplaceable items and treasures, including a cure for dragon pox, which the Headmaster has nearly perfected; student records going back 1000 years and a mysterious handwritten book full of strange runes, believed to have belonged to Merlin. In which order would you rescue these objects from the troll's club, if you could?_

  1. _1\. Dragon Pox Cure 2. Merlin's Book 3. Student's Records_
  2. _1\. Cure 2. Records 3. Book_
  3. _1\. Book 2. Cure 3. Records_
  4. _1\. Book 2. Records 3. Cure_
  5. _1\. Records 2. Cure 3. Book_
  6. _1\. Records 2. Book 3. Cure_



If he thought about answering this one like an angel he’d just end up frustrated because he could fix all these things without batting an eyelash. Otherwise, eh…

“Why the hell do I want to save the student records,” Gabriel said.

“I don’t know.” Dummy shrugged. “But that’s what it’s asking for.”

“Records? Is there nothing else of importance in the _Headmaster’s_ study? Do they have to go for _student records_?” Gabriel rolled his eyes, then just hit 1 because if he was human he’d want a cure and Merlin’s book was snazzy but who cared about the student records?

_Which would you rather be?_

  1. _Trusted_
  2. _Liked_
  3. _Imitated_
  4. _Praised_
  5. _Envied_
  6. _Feared_



When in doubt, eliminate. Gabriel had no need for 3, 5, or 6.

Being praised was nice but he didn’t do things to be praised, so 4 was out.

That just left 1 and 2.

Trust…

Gabriel looked in the direction of Gadreel’s Grace, finding it unerringly given he was the only other angel in the universe.

Gadreel trusted Gabriel despite what Gabriel leaving Heaven had meant. How badly Gabriel had betrayed the younger angels who had trusted the archangels to do what was right.

It was trust Gabriel didn’t feel like he had earned, even though he was trying.

Gabriel hit 1 and moved on, giving Dummy a quelling look when his son opened his mouth.

_Which of the following do you find the most difficult to deal with?_

  1. _Hunger_
  2. _Cold_
  3. _Loneliness_
  4. _Boredom_
  5. _Being ignored_



Gabriel lingered on 3, looking at it for a moment before setting it aside. He’d chosen loneliness as a path long ago, even if he’d still been able to sense the Host on some level.

It had been different in this world, but Gabriel had still been able to deal with it because of his past experiences.

But cold?

He winced on remembering his last visit to Hel’s domain. That…had not gone well.

Gabriel picked 2.

_What are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts?_

  1. _Every area of magic that I can_
  2. _Apparition & Disapparition_
  3. _Transfiguration_
  4. _Flying on a broomstick_
  5. _Hexes & jinxes_
  6. _All about magical creatures and how to befriend them_
  7. _Secrets about the castle_



Oh, damn, 1 tempted Gabriel but…the _castle_. So many different nooks and crannies, so many _secrets_.

Gabriel hit 7 without much regret. There were always books _outside_ of Hogwarts but only one castle.

_If you could have any power, what would you choose?_

  1. _The power to read minds_
  2. _The power of invisibility_
  3. _The power of superhuman strength_
  4. _The power to speak to animals_
  5. _The power to change the past_
  6. _The power to change your appearance at will_



This was a stupid question. Gabriel had all these abilities and then some.

“I know,” Dummy said coaxingly, clearly reading Gabriel’s thoughts off his face, “but you still need to answer it!”

Gabriel heaved a sigh, then went back to perusing his options, deliberating each one until he hit 5.

The past… Angels could bend time to their will, could go _back_ …but they could never change things. What had happened would always happen, no matter how badly he might wish to change things. Might wish to go back to when things had been good and prevent it from getting that bad.

Preventing himself from making terrible mistakes.

Gabriel exhaled lowly, making his choice.

_Which of the following would you most like to study?_

  1. _Centaurs_
  2. _Goblins_
  3. _Merpeople_
  4. _Ghosts_
  5. _Vampires_
  6. _Werewolves_
  7. _Trolls_



Ehhh… Gabriel didn’t really have a hat in this, even if the creatures in that world were different from his old one. But if he had to pick one that he’d be interested in…

Centaurs were kind of stodgy and might be fun to poke at and irritate, but Gabriel wasn’t sure how long his patience would last with their constant prattling about the future.

Goblins, though? They were wildly different from the ones Gabriel had seen in his old world. It might be nice to talk with them, at least from a business and economical standpoint.

So… Since he didn’t really much care, he just selected 2.

_One of your house mates has cheated in a Hogwarts exam by using a Self-Spelling Quill. Now he has come top of the class in Charms, beating you into second place. Professor Flitwick is suspicious of what happened. He draws you to one side after his lesson and asks you whether or not your classmate used a forbidden quill. What do you do?_

  1. _Lie and say you don't know (but hope that somebody else tells Professor Flitwick the truth)._
  2. _Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate (and resolve to tell your classmate that if he doesn't tell the truth, you will)._
  3. _Tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If your classmate is prepared to win by cheating, he deserves to be found out. Also, as you are both in the same house, any points he loses will be regained by you, for coming first in his place._
  4. _You would not wait to be asked to tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If you knew that somebody was using a forbidden quill, you would tell the teacher before the exam started._



Gabriel tapped on 2 as he was definitely not a snitch or a liar. The professor suspected something, so the best option was to let him find out for himself.

Though, really, Gabriel would go and tell the student to just ’fess up already because cheating got one absolutely nowhere. Especially if one was caught doing it.

Why was there no option to let the student get away with it if they were clever enough to manage it?

_You and two friends need to cross a bridge guarded by a river troll who insists on fighting one of you before he will let all of you pass. Do you:_

  1. _Attempt to confuse the troll into letting all three of you pass without fighting?_
  2. _Suggest drawing lots to decide which of you will fight?_
  3. _Suggest that all three of you should fight (without telling the troll)?_
  4. _Volunteer to fight?_



Ooh, Gabriel could talk circles around the troll. It wouldn’t be difficult to confuse it to let everyone pass. Would be fun, too.

Besides, why fight the thing when you could play a prank and just make a run for it?

_Which road tempts you the most?_

  1. _The wide, sunny grassy lane_
  2. _The narrow, dark, lantern-lit alley_
  3. _The twisting, leaf-strewn path through woods_
  4. _The cobbled street lined with ancient buildings_



Oh, 4. Humans were so damn interesting with their history and creativity. What would there to be discover on that path?

_Which nightmare would frighten you the most?_

  1. _Standing on top of something very high and realizing suddenly that there are no hand- or footholds, nor any barrier to stop you falling_
  2. _An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked_
  3. _Waking up to find that neither your friends nor your family have any idea who you are._
  4. _Being forced to speak in such a silly voice that hardly anyone can understand you, and everyone laughs at you_



Gabriel had no fear of falling when he could fly. Even as a human he’d been unafraid of the idea.

3 was…rather terrifying to think of, but _he’d_ been the one to forget everything. And even if that happened, he could figure out some way of fixing things.

4 was…rather funny and definitely a good prank to keep in mind.

But 2? 2 was… 2 was cold and no one _hearing him_. 2 was _knowing_ now that his Father had heard every cry and chosen to do nothing. Had _known_ and had done nothing - had essentially been that eye while Gabriel had been…

Well, it was 2.

_Late at night, walking alone down the street, you hear a peculiar cry that you believe to have a magical source. Do you:_

  1. _Proceed with caution, keeping one hand on your concealed wand and an eye out for any disturbance?_
  2. _Draw your wand and try to discover the source of the noise?_
  3. _Draw your wand and stand your ground?_
  4. _Withdraw into the shadows to await developments, while mentally reviewing the most appropriate defensive and offensive spells, should trouble occur?_



Hm… No need to go in guns blazing when there were other things one could do. Or just stand your ground and not move because that was stupid and wouldn’t solve anything.

No, Gabriel was a fan of solving the situation, but not necessarily immediately jumping to fight. So that left 1 as the most appropriate option.

4 just…wasn’t his style. (If it had been his style he’d still be a Trickster because he would never have bothered with the Winchesters.)

_A Muggle confronts you and says that they are sure you are a witch or wizard. Do you:_

  1. _Ask what makes them think so_
  2. _Agree, and ask whether they'd like a free sample of a jinx_
  3. _Agree, and walk away, leaving them to wonder whether you are bluffing_
  4. _Tell them that you are worried about their mental health, and offer to call a doctor_



Oh yes.

That would be a _hoot_.

_“I know what you are! You’re a wizard!”_

_“Oh yes, absolutely. What would you like me to do? Make you dance?”_

_“…what?”_

Yeah, Gabriel could picture that perfectly. 2 it was.

The last few questions were totally random so Gabriel just picked what he liked or flipped a coin for the others. _Dawn_ for the first because he like sunrises. _Stars_ because he’d always been a fan of exploring. _Forest_ because forests were neat and held all sorts of surprises (rivers did, too, but at least you didn’t get wet with forests). _White_ because it looked like his Grace. He flipped a coin for the last two and ended up with _tails_ and _left_.

Ooh, almost a dead split between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Hufflepuff eeked out with 76% versus Gryffindor at 74%. Then came Ravenclaw at 56% and Slytherin at 34%. Man, Gabriel wouldn’t like to be the Sorting Hat trying to make this decision.

Though if given the option… Gabriel would probably end up picking Gryffindor because the lion was cool and the Common Room was in a tower.

“No way,” Dummy said, snatching the StarkPad from Gabriel’s hands. “I thought for sure you’d be Gryffindor!”

“It’s close enough,” Tony said, amused.

“Two percent,” Dummy complained, frowning down at the pad. “At least it’s not Ravenclaw; Butterfingers thought you might be in there because you’re so smart.”

Doubtlessly if he’d been _just_ Tony Stark that was where he would have ended up. But human soul or not, his angelic experiences would always outweigh the ones he had as a human.

“So what about you, buddy?” Tony asked, folding his arms onto the tabletop and leaning over until he was on the same level as Dummy. “Which House does it put you into?”

Dummy glared mulishly at the screen. “Hufflepuff,” he admitted reluctantly. “Even though,” he continued loudly, “I would totally be in Ravenclaw!”

Oh boy. Tony loved Dummy, but that kiddo in Ravenclaw…

“I’m sure,” Tony said instead. “So… Butterfingers and You?”

“You’s Ravenclaw,” Dummy said, “and Butterfingers got into Ravenclaw, too, but she was a close call for Slytherin. She would pick that one because she says green is cooler than blue.”

Neither color was remotely close to pink, but he supposed Butterfingers just liked being contrary.

For an AI who had been supposed to grip things, Butterfingers had never gotten the hang of it.

“I think I’ll give this to Aunt Raphael when she comes by again,” Dummy mused, tilting his head. “Get more stats… For now…Uncle Gadreel.” That said, Dummy got up and wandered of to do just that.

Tony leaned back in his chair, smiling at Dummy’s back.

House sorting was serious business as far as Tony was familiar with. He hadn’t had a preference before but…

If he’d been a “Hat stall,” he would have picked Gryffindor. But if the Hat had insisted…well, Hufflepuff wasn’t so bad either.

Michael would have been a shoo-in for Gryffindor most likely, so perhaps Hufflepuff would be the better option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joke's on you, Gabriel, Michael is a definite Hufflepuff!  
> (Also, turns out Michael's guesses for Gabriel/Tony were right on the nose.)


	3. Samael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You recall Third Year, when Michael pegged Samael as being in either Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff? Which one does it end up being?
> 
> Raphael is the next one!

The bots had at one point wanted to give Samael the Sorting Quiz immediately after ne had regained nir Grace, but for a variety of reasons that…had been shot down and hadn’t happened for ages after.

Now, Gabriel cheerfully informed Samael one sunny day, there was no reason for Samael to skive off. Even if Samael was currently sitting on top of the tower in an area the bots had been banned from after Dummy had almost fallen off one too many times.

“Do we really—”

“Yes. If even Raphael did it, you have no excuse.”

Samael had some difficulties picturing stoic Raphael doing the quiz currently beaming up at nem, but then Dummy was very persuasive. It was part of the reason Butterfingers and You always elected Dummy to do the negotiations.

Sighing, Samael scrolled down to the first question, ignoring Gabriel taking a seat on the edge a few feet away. Gabriel’s Grace was tightly coiled in, deliberately not touching Samael’s.

Gently kicking nir heel against the side of the building, Samael read the first question.

_Which of the following would you most hate people to call you?_

  1. _Ordinary_
  2. _Ignorant_
  3. _Selfish_
  4. _Cowardly_



None of the options particularly appealed to Samael. There were _some_ words that would hit nem hard because ne _knew_ they were true ( _traitor_ ), but those words weren’t among the options.

Samael didn’t particularly care if people called nem selfish or cowardly, as ne knew that ne was anything but that. The same went for ignorant.

The only word that remotely bugged Samael was…

Samael had never been _ordinary_. Not back then, and even now.

The second question asked:   

_After you have died, what would you most like people to do when they hear your name?_

  1. _Miss you but smile._
  2. _Ask for more stories about your adventures_
  3. _Think with admiration of your achievements_
  4. _I don’t care what people think of me after I’m dead; it’s what they think while I’m alive that counts_



Once upon a time…Samael would have chosen 3 without thinking. Now?

Samael’s achievements were nothing to admire.

Samael certainly had stories to tell now, but ne didn’t necessarily only want to be remembered because of nir adventures. Some of them were…

Well, some were interesting.

As for 4… Wouldn’t that be the best option? To simply not _care_? To only care about what people think during the course of one’s existence? Samael would have thought so at one point.

But that was then, and now Samael didn’t believe that was a good motto. Not caring about one’s legacy was… It could lead to some questionable decisions.

So when it came down to it, 1 wasn’t a terrible option. Maybe they’d think of nem fondly or with vague amusement.

_Given the choice, would you rather invent a potion that would guarantee you_

  1. _Glory_
  2. _Wisdom_
  3. _Power_
  4. _Love_



Another question where Samael knew that ne would have at one point chosen 3 without blinking. 3 or 1, but probably 3.

Now? Oh, now, Samael would gladly invent a potion that would have given nem the wisdom to avoid nir past mistakes. Because those mistakes had destroyed everything.

_How would you like to be known to history?_

  1. _The Wise_
  2. _The Good_
  3. _The Bold_
  4. _The Great_



At one point the last option would have been suitable. Now Samael felt rather sick at the thought of being remembered as such. Or even _glorious_.

Samael certainly hadn’t been wise. Samael wasn’t even _bold_.

But in the future? How ne was _now_? Samael would… Samael would very much like to be remembered as good, as having redeemed nemself somewhat from nir past sins.

_You enter an enchanted garden. What would you be most curious to examine first?_

  1. _The silver leafed tree bearing golden apples_
  2. _The fat red toadstools that appear to be talking to each other_
  3. _The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling_
  4. _The statue of an old wizard with a strangely twinkling eye_



This was an easier one to answer, even if Samael lingered pointedly over 3, which ne would have chosen as well long ago.

But now… Probably 4. If only to figure out why the hell that statue’s eye was twinkling.

_What kind of instrument most pleases your ear?_

  1. _Violin_
  2. _Drums_
  3. _Piano_
  4. _Trumpet_



Samael shot a glance to Gabriel, who was pretending to not be paying attention to what Samael was doing.

Closing nir eyes, Samael recalled the sweet tune of a piano playing in the dark one night after particularly vivid nightmares of screaming and pain. Ne hadn’t known then what it meant, let alone what it had cost Gabriel to pretend like everything was _fine_ , but on those nights…

It wasn’t just the trumpet where Gabriel’s musical talents lay.

Samael picked 3 and pretended not to notice the way Gabriel’s Grace twitched in surprise.

_Four boxes are placed before you. Which would you try to open?_

  1. _The small tortoiseshell box, embellished with gold, inside which some small creature seems to be squeaking._
  2. _The gleaming jet black box with a silver lock and key, marked with a mysterious rune that you know to be the mark of Merlin._
  3. _The ornate golden casket, standing on clawed feet, whose inscription warns that both secret knowledge and unbearable temptation lie within._
  4. _The small pewter box, unassuming and plain, with a scratched message upon it that reads “I open only for the worthy.”_



“I can’t open all the boxes?” Samael asked.

“You’re supposed to pick _one_ ,” Gabriel answered, sounding amused. “Though I’m not sure what it says about you that you’d open all of them… The perils of greediness?”

“Or just that I hate this whole ‘pick only one’ mentality,” Samael pointed out.

“One,” Gabriel said, and his tone said he’d know if Samael messed with the settings to offer a fifth option. “Or I’ll sic Dummy on you. I’m sure he and the others could come up with something suitable.”

Even now that was a reputable threat. Samael could theoretically flee to the other end of the galaxy, but the bots would still be _there_. And they didn’t forget.

Sighing dramatically, Samael returned to investigating the answers more closely.

Looking at 4 filled nem with guilt, as ne was definitely not worthy but would have chosen it before because ne would have _thought_ ne was worthy. 2 was…uninteresting. Samael could always talk to Merlin if ne really wanted to.

1…tempting, but Samael could fix anything that happened. But 3?

Samael was familiar with temptation. Lucifer had turned temptation into an _art_ , and his demons had picked it up.

But knowledge… Knowledge was power. And whatever else lay in there… Samael could deal with it.

Gabriel would undoubtedly choose A without hesitating but Samael wasn’t Gabriel. Samael was…

Well, Samael wasn’t perfect, and whatever was in the first box could be rescued later.

3 it was.

_Four goblets are placed before you. Which would you choose to drink?_

  1. _The foaming, frothing, silvery liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds_
  2. _The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums._
  3. _The golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, and which makes sunspots dance all around the room._
  4. _The mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions._



Definitely not diamonds. Jewelry held no interest for Samael. The same went for sweet things.

As for the sun… Samael was bright – had always been bright – but that didn’t mean ne had to go for that. It seemed almost a little ironic going for something that resembled nir own Grace.

Visions on the other hand… Samael had always been a little fond of mysteries.

_Once every century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers that adapt their scent to attract the unwary. If it lured you, it would smell of_

  1. _A crackling log fire_
  2. _Parchment_
  3. _Home_
  4. _The sea_



There was no thought before Samael hit 3 and moved on.

( _Home where ne hadn’t been in so long; home where ne had been **Cast out** ; home where ne had returned to after regaining nir Grace only to find horror and terror and **betrayal** ; home that wasn’t **home** but which Samael still missed._)

_A troll has gone berserk in the Headmaster's study at Hogwarts. It is about to smash, crush and tear several irreplaceable items and treasures, including a cure for dragon pox, which the Headmaster has nearly perfected; student records going back 1000 years and a mysterious handwritten book full of strange runes, believed to have belonged to Merlin. In which order would you rescue these objects from the troll's club, if you could?_

  1. _Dragon Pox Cure 2. Merlin's Book 3. Student's Records_
  2. _Cure 2. Records 3. Book_
  3. _Book 2. Cure 3. Records_
  4. _Book 2. Records 3. Cure_
  5. _Records 2. Cure 3. Book_
  6. _Records 2. Book 3. Cure_



“This is bullshit,” Samael exclaimed, whipping around to Gabriel. “Total _bullshit_.”

“Oh yeah.” Gabriel nodded, smirking. “Those student records are ridiculous, aren’t they?”

“No!” Samael paused, then continued, “Okay, yes, that’s ridiculous and I’d throw _those_ at the troll, but why isn’t there an option to beat the troll up?”

“Because you’re an innocent student in this scenario?”

Samael frowned, looked between Gabriel and the question, and then hit 3. Who cared about the records? Ne would chuck them at the troll without regrets.

Recreating Merlin’s book would be a little tedious so that came first as Samael could always perfect the damn cure instead of saving one that was _nearly_ perfected.

_Which would you rather be?_

  1. _Trusted_
  2. _Liked_
  3. _Imitated_
  4. _Praised_
  5. _Envied_
  6. _Feared_



The annoyance vanished as Samael read the answers. Ne turned away from Gabriel, grateful when Gabriel let nem go silently.

At one point Samael would have chosen either _envied_ or _feared_ but now ne couldn’t stand to look at the words.

There had been nothing to envy at how Samael had been before. Now, thinking of eliciting _fear_ in nir siblings…

No, Samael would rather not be envied or feared.

Nor imitated because Samael had made some terrible decisions.

Liked? Being liked would be nice, but one had to be trusted to be liked, didn’t they? No one trusted Samael at this point.

Samael couldn’t even blame them for the mistrust.

Ne hit 1.

_Which of the following do you find the most difficult to deal with?_

  1. _Hunger_
  2. _Cold_
  3. _Loneliness_
  4. _Boredom_
  5. _Being ignored_



Three of these were ridiculous. Hunger was something Samael had never experienced, so technically speaking Samael might find it difficult to deal with but then stealing food wasn’t an issue, was it?

Boredom? You could come up with things to do (this likely meant ne would have chosen this at another point in nir existence)! And if one was ignored then one could do…other things.

As for the cold… Samael had been cold at some point. Still felt that cold freezing nir Grace when ne became angry. The cold wasn’t something that concerned nem.

Yet _loneliness_.

_Eons of loneliness, of the **silence** where nir siblings had once been, of hearing **nothing** at all and being utterly **alone** —_

Samael breathed in, tapping 3.

The next question was lighter in nature:

_What are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts?_

  1. _Every area of magic that I can_
  2. _Apparition & Disapparition_
  3. _Transfiguration_
  4. _Flying on a broomstick_
  5. _Hexes & jinxes_
  6. _All about magical creatures and how to befriend them_
  7. _Secrets about the castle_



Oh 1. Why settle for a single thing when you could learn everything?

 _If_ _you could have any power, what would you choose?_

  1. _The power to read minds_
  2. _The power of invisibility_
  3. _The power of superhuman strength_
  4. _The power to speak to animals_
  5. _The power to change the past_
  6. _The power to change your appearance at will_



“Obviously this was designed for humans,” Samael said, staring down at the answers.

“I know, right.” Gabriel waved a dismissive hand. “Just…pick something. Like, I don’t know, super strength? Maybe you want to be stronger than you already are?”

“We could theoretically lift this tower if we really wanted to,” Samael said flatly. “We could push the _sun_ out of the sky.”

“Maybe the ability to actually _understand_ animals? There are days I still don’t get Suzie and Dustin.”

There were days Samael would like to yell at the housefly ne had tried to kill as an AI, which had failed when ne had almost burned down the kitchen, but now ne knew the housefly wouldn’t have understood a thing. Beyond the whole “fire” aspect because the housefly had still made it out.

Yet all jokes aside…

Oh, if Samael could _actually_ change the past? Didn’t just have to be relegated to the role of an observer or completing closed loops?

There was a lot ne would change. Gabriel. Lilith. Gadreel.

… _Michael_.

Samael mutely chose 5, deliberately  not thinking about how ne would have chosen 5  _before_ as well but for entirely different reasons.

_Which of the following would you most like to study?_

  1. _Centaurs_
  2. _Goblins_
  3. _Merpeople_
  4. _Ghosts_
  5. _Vampires_
  6. _Werewolves_
  7. _Trolls_



Another relatively simple question…although this was one Samael didn’t care about.

Maybe the centaurs? They’d be fun to annoy, and Samael could be extremely annoying if ne wanted to be.

It would also be interesting to see how their prophecies worked. If they were actually prophecies or just…vague mutterings about star movements.

Lucifer would have chosen trolls or werewolves. Because trolls were terribly strong and brutal and werewolves could be even more terrifying with a human intellect behind the wolf.

_One of your house mates has cheated in a Hogwarts exam by using a Self-Spelling Quill. Now he has come top of the class in Charms, beating you into second place. Professor Flitwick is suspicious of what happened. He draws you to one side after his lesson and asks you whether or not your classmate used a forbidden quill. What do you do?_

  1. _Lie and say you don't know (but hope that somebody else tells Professor Flitwick the truth)._
  2. _Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate (and resolve to tell your classmate that if he doesn't tell the truth, you will)._
  3. _Tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If your classmate is prepared to win by cheating, he deserves to be found out. Also, as you are both in the same house, any points he loses will be regained by you, for coming first in his place._
  4. _You would not wait to be asked to tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If you knew that somebody was using a forbidden quill, you would tell the teacher before the exam started._



“Oh, come on!” Samael exclaimed. “I can’t go and tell the student to just turn themselves in? I can’t confront the student _before_ the exam and tell them to stop cheating or something unpleasant will happen?”

“Apparently not—”

“Instead my only options are to either lie or be a goody two-shoes and just snitch? Even 2 is stupid!”

Gabriel eyed Samael, face suspiciously blank in a way that meant he was laughing. “You done?”

“No.” Samael made a face. “But since you don’t condone cheating on this, I suppose I have to be.”

Samael hit 2 because that was the only option that didn’t make ne want to pitch the tablet off the tower.

_You and two friends need to cross a bridge guarded by a river troll who insists on fighting one of you before he will let all of you pass. Do you:_

  1. _Attempt to confuse the troll into letting all three of you pass without fighting?_
  2. _Suggest drawing lots to decide which of you will fight?_
  3. _Suggest that all three of you should fight (without telling the troll)?_
  4. _Volunteer to fight?_



1 sounded fun but… Indulging the troll sounded like more fun?

4 it was.

Gabriel sighed off to the side, clearly judging Samael’s life choices.

_Which road tempts you the most?_

  1. _The wide, sunny grassy lane_
  2. _The narrow, dark, lantern-lit alley_
  3. _The twisting, leaf-strewn path through woods_
  4. _The cobbled street lined with ancient buildings_



Samael was bright, but there was nothing _interesting_ in walking in the sunshine with everything visible.

But 2? Samael had walked in the shadows for a while – was intimately familiar with them. There was nothing wrong with being in them if one knew what they were doing.

Sometimes things required a little bit of a heavier hand.

3 was vaguely interesting but not as much as 2. And 4 was…ehh, Samael had seen plenty of those now.

2 it was.

_Which nightmare would frighten you the most?_

  1. _Standing on top of something very high and realizing suddenly that there are no hand- or footholds, nor any barrier to stop you falling_
  2. _An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked_
  3. _Waking up to find that neither your friends nor your family have any idea who you are._
  4. _Being forced to speak in such a silly voice that hardly anyone can understand you, and everyone laughs at you_



Samael had fallen – _Fallen_ once. It didn’t hold much fear for nem now, even if ne never wanted to Fall again. There were worse things to survive.

2 was… Ne could see why it would be frightening, but at the same time ne could see it as a reassurance. As someone peeking in to see if the room was empty or not and then opening the door on realizing it wasn’t. (Or leaving it locked on realizing it wasn’t empty but Samael wouldn’t go there.)

3… Samael twirled the drawstring of nir jacket as ne considered it. Considered coming back to Earth one day to realize everything ne had built here was gone. That no one knew who ne was and no one _cared_.

Because even though things were still strained – even though ne and Gabriel no longer had the relationship they had when Samael was _just_ an AI – Gabriel was still _there_. He hadn’t left and neither had anyone else.

So if that was gone?

Samael tapped on 3 and ignored 4 because that was ridiculous.

_Late at night, walking alone down the street, you hear a peculiar cry that you believe to have a magical source. Do you:_

  1. _Proceed with caution, keeping one hand on your concealed wand and an eye out for any disturbance?_
  2. _Draw your wand and try to discover the source of the noise?_
  3. _Draw your wand and stand your ground?_
  4. _Withdraw into the shadows to await developments, while mentally reviewing the most appropriate defensive and offensive spells, should trouble occur?_



Samael may have chosen 4 before, chosen to remain aside and wait to see what happened. But now?

Now Samael was a little more inclined to go and see what was up. Preferably with a weapon already drawn to show business.

2 it was.

_A Muggle confronts you and says that they are sure you are a witch or wizard. Do you:_

  1. _Ask what makes them think so_
  2. _Agree, and ask whether they'd like a free sample of a jinx_
  3. _Agree, and walk away, leaving them to wonder whether you are bluffing_
  4. _Tell them that you are worried about their mental health, and offer to call a doctor_



1 was too neutral. Didn’t seem quite as much fun as actually playing along when someone came up and accused ne of being an angel. 4 didn’t sound all that much fun. Where was the joking around?

So 2 or 3… Samael could do a jinx, but wouldn’t it be more fun to leave them wondering if ne was lying?

_“Oh, you got me there. That’s me. One hundred percent angel. Have a nice day!”_

The confusion would certainly be amusing.

Samael hit 3.

Upon skimming the last several questions Samael materialized a coin to use. The first four didn’t require one because Samael just chose _dusk_ , _moon_ , _river_ , and _black_. The rising sun was nice, but dusk held other opportunities people missed and it also meant the stars and moon came out. The moon because it was only a reflection of the sun’s light but it was beautiful nonetheless. And with rivers the water wore away at the stone a little each day, changing what had once been seen as impermeable. White or black…

Just to be contrary Samael picked _black_. Ne had no doubt Gabriel had chosen _white_.

Samael flipped a coin for _heads_ or _tails_ , got _heads_ and made a face because that seemed boring. Tails could be interesting! Ne picked _tails_.

Another flip later and Samael selected _right_.

On hitting the submit button, Samael found nemself looking at nir results.

“Ooh, Hat stall,” Gabriel said, suddenly sitting right by Samael’s side. Despite the physical proximity of their vessels, he still wasn’t touching Samael’s Grace. “Did not expect that.”

“What,” Samael said in exasperation, “were you thinking Slytherin?”

“Seems a bit stereotypical, doesn’t it?” Gabriel agreed. “But it’s a close tie between Slytherin and Gryffindor here.”

Indeed, Gryffindor beat Slytherin by a measly 6 points at 72% compared to 66%. Hufflepuff was 56% and Ravenclaw 48%.

“You know, I don’t know why I didn’t consider Gryffindor,” Gabriel mused. “On second thought it makes perfect sense. You always were really stubborn and stuck to your ideals—”

Samael hit his shoulder with the StarkPad. “You’re insulting yourself there, too! You got a tie between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor!”

“Yeah, but I got _Hufflepuff_ ,” Gabriel pointed out gleefully. “We’re _loyal_ , and stubbornness falls right into that.” He brightened. “Ooh, you’re a regular old Harry Potter!”

“Am not!”

“You mean the Hat isn’t whispering into your head about whether to put you in Slytherin or Gryffindor?”

“Gryffindor beat out Slytherin,” Samael pointed out.

“By _six points_. That’s – like – nothing. You have a choice to make here.”

“I’m taking it on Pottermore,” Samael said, jumping to nir feet. “At least there it just _sticks_ you into something—”

“Why – do you _want_ to be in Gryffindor with Michael?”

Samael paused, considering what ne remembered of Michael. Stubborn and idealistic, always wanting to do what was right…

“You’re right,” ne said, “better go Slytherin. We’d blow up the tower before the week’s up.”

“You know what Raphael got, right?” Gabriel said.

“No,” Samael said, “but I expect you’re going to tell me right now.”

“You’re damn right I am. She got—”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, Michael's ears are burning somewhere. He's a Hufflepuff. A HUFFLEPUFF
> 
> Turns out Michael doesn't know Samael as well as he thought he did, huh? But this is Samael NOW. Surely it was different before!  
> ...I also took the Pottermore quiz with pre-Lucifer Samael and got a pretty solid Slytherin. So, again not what Michael pegged Samael as.
> 
> So...bets for Raphael? Was Michael wrong or right? :P


	4. Raphael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Raphael rounds it up! Was Michael's last guess right or wrong? :P

“Aunt Raphael! I thought you’d _never_ come by!”

At the feel of the still unfamiliar soul, Raphael flexed her Grace in surprise for a moment before managing to relax, turning to Gabriel’s eldest with a warm smile. “Dummy. I didn’t know you were expecting me.”

Dummy gave her a look of exasperation, looking so much like a younger Gabriel that it was uncanny. There were only slight physical differences, but it was _very_ clear that Dummy had chosen this physical vessel to look like his father. Probably the only reason it wasn’t an exact copy was Gabriel saying no.

“You’re _family_ ,” Dummy said pointedly. “You should come by more often than every five years!”

Raphael had no idea how much time had passed since last coming to this world but she didn’t think that was an excuse Dummy would accept. He could be remarkably single-minded at times.

“I’ll see,” was all Raphael said. “Did you need something? Gabriel requested I come—”

“Because I asked,” Dummy said, surprising Raphael yet again. “Dad and Uncle Gadreel are the only two angels here, and we _need_ more data.”

Raphael did not think about the AI Samael, who was still very much…not an angel at this point. “More data for what?”

“This quiz!” Dummy shoved a shiny, transparent tablet into Raphael’s hands, one she recognized as an updated StarkPad. Of course Gabriel hadn’t given up his human work here.

Raphael studied it for a long moment, not placing the questions. “Which is…for what?”

“You were human, too,” Dummy said, “so shouldn’t you remember _Harry Potter_?”

“This doesn’t look anything like the series.”

“It _is_ , though,” Dummy insisted in a remarkably unhelpful way. “It’s from Pottermore – the official site for the series. This is the Sorting quiz! So you take it and it’ll Sort you into whichever House you fit into.”

Raphael didn’t think the site looked particularly magical. “This doesn’t seem to look like an official site.”

“That’s because _that’s_ not,” Dummy said patiently, giving her an indulging look. “But the questions are all from the Pottermore site, and someone else analyzed the answers and how they work. This gives you loads more data, which is data _we_ can use.”

“For…what exactly?” Knowing Gabriel, it could be anything.

“Accuracy!”

…That was not what Raphael had expected but was better than the alternative. (Which was…honestly, Gabriel didn’t seem the type to let his children go for world domination.)

Thinking it couldn’t hurt since she was already here (and also that Gabriel owed her for this), Raphael tilted the tablet up and read the first question.

_Which of the following would you most hate people to call you?_

  1. _Ordinary_
  2. _Ignorant_
  3. _Selfish_
  4. _Cowardly_



Raphael’s finger hovered by 2 as she considered the other answers. She had been ordinary at one point while she was human, so that didn’t bother her… She wasn’t selfish or cowardly and was confident in that assessment so wouldn’t feel upset if someone were to try and call her that.

But… She had heard whispers among some of the angels about her being _ignorant_. About not knowing what the plan was, about Michael having led her by the nose—

She had known exactly what she was doing.

Tapping the 2 lightly, Raphael was taken aback when Dummy blurted out, “But you’re not ignorant!”

Raphael flipped the tablet around to see if the backside showed anything of the quiz but all it showed was transparent glass. Then she looked up at Dummy and _saw_ that he was mentally linked to the tablet.

“Are you spying?” she asked reprovingly.

“Er…no?”

“I can tell when you’re lying,” Raphael said, raising an eyebrow. “Would you like to try that again?”

“…Yes?”

“Yes, you’d like to try that again, or yes, you were spying?”

“Both?”

Raphael pointedly obscured the tablet from Dummy’s link, rather miffed that she had forgotten what an _AI_ was. Dummy pouted as the link broke off but didn’t otherwise protest, rocking back on his heels as he folded his arms over his chest.

Reassured that she wouldn’t have someone spying on her, Raphael read the second question.

_After you have died, what would you most like people to do when they hear your name?_

  1. _Miss you but smile._
  2. _Ask for more stories about your adventures_
  3. _Think with admiration of your achievements_
  4. _I don’t care what people think of me after I’m dead; it’s what they think while I’m alive that counts_



Raphael had no adventures to tell of or even achievements. She didn’t count the twice-failed apocalypse as an achievement. Her dying wasn’t an adventure either, and she wasn’t sure people would like to hear about that. Characters dying tended to disappoint listeners…

The options were paltry here. Raphael wasn’t sure she liked the first or last ones either.

Was there no option where the people left behind could just say… _Yes, Raphael wasn’t so bad. She tried her best._

Would that fall under 1?

But Raphael wouldn’t care about what people thought of her if she was dead. She’d be _dead_. She certainly hadn’t cared during that brief time period when she’d been dead before…

Raphael couldn’t remember her first death, but she did recall what it had been like to regain her memories and _know_ she was in a different world. That her siblings thought her dead and their last memories of her had been of her ruthlessly hunting down their rebellious siblings and trying to set the apocalypse off.

That had been terrible. That she knew she’d been wrong – that she had _failed them so terribly_ because humans were _better_ than what the angels had thought of them as – but she had no way of letting her siblings know. Of remedying her mistakes.

So… not 4. That just left 1.

_Given the choice, would you rather invent a potion that would guarantee you_

  1. _Glory_
  2. _Wisdom_
  3. _Power_
  4. _Love_



Raphael selected 2 without much thought, knowing well her faults in that area. If she had been _wiser_ , perhaps better at her role of _healer_ …perhaps she could have fixed some of what had gone so terribly wrong.

Besides, a little more wisdom was never a terrible thing. Raphael wasn’t too sure what she’d do with love anyway.

_How would you like to be known to history?_

  1. _The Wise_
  2. _The Good_
  3. _The Bold_
  4. _The Great_



If anyone was _bold_ it was Gabriel. He dared to do things no other angel save for Castiel would think of. Raphael was the last one anyone would call bold.

As for great and wise…both laughable. Raphael would never be known as the greatest archangel or the wisest.

She had made too many mistakes that she was still repenting for. She was still rebuilding the fractured trust among the Host even now. Trust that _she_ had broken in her zeal to continue the apocalypse despite everything.

In the end…perhaps she would be known as _good_ among the Host.

_You enter an enchanted garden. What would you be most curious to examine first?_

  1. _The silver leafed tree bearing golden apples_
  2. _The fat red toadstools that appear to be talking to each other_
  3. _The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling_
  4. _The statue of an old wizard with a strangely twinkling eye_



This was… This was an appalling question. _None_ of this was remotely interesting.

If anything, Raphael would be incredibly suspicious. Was there no option to just hide and figure things out from there? Did one immediately have to jump in and inspect things

Gabriel would no doubt go for the toadstools. He had always liked talking.

Raphael… As the option to hide somewhere wasn’t given, perhaps she should pick the tree and stand in its shadow to observe.

She selected 1.

_What kind of instrument most pleases your ear?_

  1. _Violin_
  2. _Drums_
  3. _Piano_
  4. _Trumpet_



Raphael lingered on the trumpet, thinking with a faint wince of Gabriel’s initial attempts at blowing his own. That had been…interesting. Certainly music, but not music Raphael had been fond of.

The other instruments were…not quite pleasing either. Nothing compared to the music of Heaven, and Raphael had been listening to it for a while now.

But as there was no option for “the music of Heaven” Raphael supposed she should just go for the violin. That wasn’t _too_ terrible.

…It was when the player didn’t tune their strings.

The drums. That was entirely inoffensive and just banging.

_Four boxes are placed before you. Which would you try to open?_

  1. _The small tortoiseshell box, embellished with gold, inside which some small creature seems to be squeaking._
  2. _The gleaming jet black box with a silver lock and key, marked with a mysterious rune that you know to be the mark of Merlin._
  3. _The ornate golden casket, standing on clawed feet, whose inscription warns that both secret knowledge and unbearable temptation lie within._
  4. _The small pewter box, unassuming and plain, with a scratched message upon it that reads “I open only for the worthy.”_



Raphael didn’t even hesitate before selecting 1, having no desire to subject a creature to a confined box and risk it dying.

_Four goblets are placed before you. Which would you choose to drink?_

  1. _The foaming, frothing, silvery liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds_
  2. _The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums._
  3. _The golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, and which makes sunspots dance all around the room._
  4. _The mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions._



Diamonds reminded Raphael too much of being dressed up as a doll in her human life. She also hadn’t been terribly fond of sweets.

Visions had never interested her so that just left her with 3. 3 wasn’t terrible, and it… It reminded her of Michael.

He had always been warm.

_Once every century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers that adapt their scent to attract the unwary. If it lured you, it would smell of_

  1. _A crackling log fire_
  2. _Parchment_
  3. _Home_
  4. _The sea_



Raphael stared silently down at the answers before tapping on 3.

Heaven had no scent to speak of, but that didn’t mean that had been Raphael’s _only_ home.

_A troll has gone berserk in the Headmaster's study at Hogwarts. It is about to smash, crush and tear several irreplaceable items and treasures, including a cure for dragon pox, which the Headmaster has nearly perfected; student records going back 1000 years and a mysterious handwritten book full of strange runes, believed to have belonged to Merlin. In which order would you rescue these objects from the troll's club, if you could?_

  1. _1\. Dragon Pox Cure 2. Merlin's Book 3. Student's Records_
  2. _1\. Cure 2. Records 3. Book_
  3. _1\. Book 2. Cure 3. Records_
  4. _1\. Book 2. Records 3. Cure_
  5. _1\. Records 2. Cure 3. Book_
  6. _1\. Records 2. Book 3. Cure_



Ugh, what? These were just…bizarre? Aside from the cure, and perhaps Merlin’s book, was there nothing _else_ of value in the Headmaster’s office?

Certainly Raphael knew the importance of records from her time as a businesswoman, but surely there was something _more_ important?

“Oh, that’s the same face Dad made when he read the troll-in-the-office question,” Dummy noted.

“I’m not surprised,” Raphael said dryly. “This is an…unusual scenario.” It was perhaps the politest way she could put it.

She didn’t speak further, selecting 1 with a vague sense of disgust.

_Which would you rather be?_

  1. _Trusted_
  2. _Liked_
  3. _Imitated_
  4. _Praised_
  5. _Envied_
  6. _Feared_



The last four were…not in consideration. She had no desire for any of those.

But the first two? To be liked? Raphael didn’t do her job to be _liked_. Archangels were…they were supposed to protect their younger siblings as Gabriel had insisted. A job they had _all_ failed at. A job Raphael was trying to make up for while also remaining responsible.

It didn’t mean she’d be liked. But Raphael was used to that, both before her first death and as a human woman. In the world she had grown up in as a human, to be liked was to be used as a tool when necessary. It wasn’t done out of anything other than an objective to get what you wanted.

That was not what Raphael wanted now.

Yet trusted? Raphael still missed the trust she had once held with the Host. A trust Castiel had due to his prior actions (even if it had been strained with the events with Purgatory and then Heaven’s gates).

Raphael wanted that again, and to have it she would have to work for it.

_Which of the following do you find the most difficult to deal with?_

  1. _Hunger_
  2. _Cold_
  3. _Loneliness_
  4. _Boredom_
  5. _Being ignored_



This question wasn’t any easier to answer, Raphael eyeing 5 with a strong sense of disquiet.

She’d never experienced hunger before, so she would likely find that difficult to deal with. Yet that was such an abstract notion that Raphael discarded it.

Cold? Raphael didn’t have Gabriel’s experiences with that.

She’d been lonely as a human; that was nothing new either. Bored as well on occasions.

But _being ignored_? She had…

Michael was the oldest; Samael had been next and those two had been close. She had been third, Michael taking her under his wing, and Gabriel had been last. But for some reason…she was not one who most people thought of (always looked to second after Michael because _Michael_ was the eldest – the Commander).

Raphael had taken on so many duties, but she had still been viewed as an afterthought – as the only archangel to go to because Michael was out of touch.

Samael had Fallen. Michael had been closest to their Father originally as the eldest. Gabriel had a special relationship given his status as a Messenger. Raphael?

Raphael had none of that. Raphael had been close to their Father but she had not had that connection.

She had been…

Michael hadn’t exactly ignored her as they had worked together to make sure they were on the same page regarding the apocalypse. Yet he had remained _distant_ and grown even more so as the years passed, and she _had_ felt ignored by him.

She selected 5.

The next question was a breath of fresh air::

_What are you most looking forward to learning at Hogwarts?_

  1. _Every area of magic that I can_
  2. _Apparition & Disapparition_
  3. _Transfiguration_
  4. _Flying on a broomstick_
  5. _Hexes & jinxes_
  6. _All about magical creatures and how to befriend them_
  7. _Secrets about the castle_



That was a difficult question to answer, as everything sounded interesting. So…1?

_If you could have any power, what would you choose?_

  1. _The power to read minds_
  2. _The power of invisibility_
  3. _The power of superhuman strength_
  4. _The power to speak to animals_
  5. _The power to change the past_
  6. _The power to change your appearance at will_



Powers that…every angel had? Except for 5. They couldn’t _change the past_.

Raphael was certain if Gabriel read this question, he might pick 5 as well. He had regrets he would like to change. _Raphael_ had regrets she would like to change.

If she couldn’t change Michael’s mind – and she had no doubt that she would have failed in doing so – then what she could have done was accepted Castiel’s lesson about free will after the first time the apocalypse had failed. She wouldn’t have torn Heaven apart in a needless civil war.

_Which of the following would you most like to study?_

  1. _Centaurs_
  2. _Goblins_
  3. _Merpeople_
  4. _Ghosts_
  5. _Vampires_
  6. _Werewolves_
  7. _Trolls_



How…dull.

Raphael ignored the first and last answers, instead deciding to pick something from the middle for lack of anything better.

Not ghosts; she was intimately familiar with those. Same for vampires and werewolves. Then…merpeople?

Very well.

_One of your house mates has cheated in a Hogwarts exam by using a Self-Spelling Quill. Now he has come top of the class in Charms, beating you into second place. Professor Flitwick is suspicious of what happened. He draws you to one side after his lesson and asks you whether or not your classmate used a forbidden quill. What do you do?_

  1. _Lie and say you don't know (but hope that somebody else tells Professor Flitwick the truth)._
  2. _Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate (and resolve to tell your classmate that if he doesn't tell the truth, you will)._
  3. _Tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If your classmate is prepared to win by cheating, he deserves to be found out. Also, as you are both in the same house, any points he loses will be regained by you, for coming first in his place._
  4. _You would not wait to be asked to tell Professor Flitwick the truth. If you knew that somebody was using a forbidden quill, you would tell the teacher before the exam started._



What an – _what an asinine question_.

“Ooh, is that the cheating question?” Dummy asked. “Dad didn’t like that one either.”

“Unsurprising,” Raphael muttered, displeased with the limited options available.

Just _tell the classmate at the beginning they couldn’t cheat_. But that wasn’t even an option!

As an angel…well, Raphael would give the human the choice to confess. So 2.

_You and two friends need to cross a bridge guarded by a river troll who insists on fighting one of you before he will let all of you pass. Do you:_

  1. _Attempt to confuse the troll into letting all three of you pass without fighting?_
  2. _Suggest drawing lots to decide which of you will fight?_
  3. _Suggest that all three of you should fight (without telling the troll)?_
  4. _Volunteer to fight?_



Well, if Raphael was accompanied by her siblings… She could leave the talking to Gabriel. Michael may have… Michael may have left it to Gabriel as well, trusting in him to confuse the troll.

But what would _she_ do?

Suggest working together as they had always been at their best as a _team_.

_Which road tempts you the most?_

  1. _The wide, sunny grassy lane_
  2. _The narrow, dark, lantern-lit alley_
  3. _The twisting, leaf-strewn path through woods_
  4. _The cobbled street lined with ancient buildings_



The sun and the warmth.

_Oh, Michael._

_Which nightmare would frighten you the most?_

  1. _Standing on top of something very high and realizing suddenly that there are no hand- or footholds, nor any barrier to stop you falling_
  2. _An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked_
  3. _Waking up to find that neither your friends nor your family have any idea who you are._
  4. _Being forced to speak in such a silly voice that hardly anyone can understand you, and everyone laughs at you_



The last answer was patently ridiculous. There were ways around that.

But 1? When Raphael had come _so very close to Falling_? When Raphael had found herself without a path, without a brother to lean on, with just her own choices guiding the way? She’d been without anyone to talk to.

There was nothing stopping her from making that one, fatal mistake. From causing her to _Fall_.

And for all that she and Michael had done in the name of _good_ – only for it to turn out to be so terribly wrong…why hadn’t they Fallen?

_Late at night, walking alone down the street, you hear a peculiar cry that you believe to have a magical source. Do you:_

  1. _Proceed with caution, keeping one hand on your concealed wand and an eye out for any disturbance?_
  2. _Draw your wand and try to discover the source of the noise?_
  3. _Draw your wand and stand your ground?_
  4. _Withdraw into the shadows to await developments, while mentally reviewing the most appropriate defensive and offensive spells, should trouble occur?_



Naturally 4. Raphael would prefer to take her time and see what was going on before actually interfering.

If there’d been a fifth option, she would have chosen the one where she remained in the shadows but approached nonetheless. But as that wasn’t there….

4.

_A Muggle confronts you and says that they are sure you are a witch or wizard. Do you:_

  1. _Ask what makes them think so_
  2. _Agree, and ask whether they'd like a free sample of a jinx_
  3. _Agree, and walk away, leaving them to wonder whether you are bluffing_
  4. _Tell them that you are worried about their mental health, and offer to call a doctor_



When confronted on an issue you couldn’t admit or weren’t prepared to admit, the best thing to do was either deflect or turn it around on them. In this case, turning it around on them would certainly be for the best.

Better that than make them work through all the proof as to how they had reached their conclusion. No, make them doubt, and then they’d drop the matter.

Raphael selected _dawn_ and _moon_ for the next questions. It had been dark for so long before the light finally broke through; their Father might not be present, but at least she had some sense of what she was doing now. As for the moon? The moon was a reflection of the sun’s light, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t beautiful in its own right. So many had considered Raphael merely Michael’s lieutenant in the end, but that didn’t mean Raphael wasn’t her own individual.

As for _forest_ or _river_ … Raphael was reminded of the infamous forest in Japan – Aokigahara. The forest where people went to die and where their bodies were rarely found unless people stumbled upon them.

There were dark things hidden in forests sometimes.

But did Raphael want to pick something so dark? No. She’d go for _river_.

For the last three she ran a numbers generator and then selected _black_ , _head_ , and _left_. She knew personally there was nothing wrong with colors, even if her Grace was perhaps closest to what humans would identify as white given it was light.

Once the answers were submitted, Raphael found herself surprised to find herself looking at RAVENCLAW (with 84% next to it). It was further broken down into Hufflepuff at 66%, Slytherin 48%, and Gryffindor 42%. But it would seem that she would fit into Ravenclaw.

Which…was not something Raphael would have pictured for herself. Gabriel? Certainly, given his penchant for exploring and designing new things.

But _Raphael_?

“What are you?” Dummy demanded, bouncing impatiently.

“Ravenclaw, apparently,” Raphael said after a moment, handing the StarkPad back.

“Oh?” Dummy squinted at her briefly. “That’s… cool, I guess? I thought Dad would’ve been in Ravenclaw, but he was a Hat stall between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff beat Gryffindor by two points.”

Raphael was once again surprised. “Oh? I would have thought Ravenclaw.”

“So did I!” Dummy gestured with the StarkPad. “But I suppose not? And I guess…it does kind of make sense given everything he’s done.”

“Does it?” Raphael was still perplexed about her own results. “Well, I hope my results helped you.”

“It should,” Dummy said, “because maybe now I can figure out why it doesn’t put me in Ravenclaw!”

Raphael kept her face carefully blank, telling herself she was _not going to laugh_.

It didn’t help that she could feel Gabriel laughing somewhere in the vicinity, having been eavesdropping in the last several minutes.

“I hope so, too,” Raphael managed noncommittally. “If you’ll excuse me, Dummy, I have a brother to speak to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RAVENCLAW!
> 
> Which pretty much gives us an archangel in each House, although two were Hat stalls. Coincidentally, these are also the two with souls?
> 
> Thanks for indulging me with this fun little side trip! I must thank [the-grey-hunt](http://the-grey-hunt.tumblr.com) for inspiring it by talking about the quiz to begin with. That was what led me to thinking about the archangels' different thought processes as they answer the questions. What makes them pick different answers and what makes them pick the same ones.
> 
> Don't worry; the last chapter for First Born is still in the works. But you could check out the-grey-hunt's [the last archangel: i'm not in charge of this series](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206075/chapters/43069088), which is her take on both Michael and Seventh Year! (I say "her" take because it's a bit AU in certain aspects yet it still has canonical bits.)


End file.
